Trip to Maui and Oahu.... where do we stay .. what do we do?

My boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Hawaii for our Easter vacation. We are planning on booking our hotels and airlines separately and we are planning on staying in Honolulu for 4 nights and either Wailea or Kahului for 4 nights. We are planning on doing the road to Hana in Maui and also visiting Pearl Harbor among other things in Oahu. We want to make this trip a trip of a lifetime so we are willing to spend the money and do the stuff we want to do. We are looking for guidance in how to plan our trip and what we absolutely we need to do to experience Hawaii...... Thanks for your help with this. We are looking forward to our trip and want to make it the best possible.